Cold hands, warm shart.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
