I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
