I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
