great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
