i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
