people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need moral support for this bender
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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