1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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