Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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