omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
