if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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