There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
