I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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