She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
