you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
