Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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