we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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