Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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