goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my shit smells like andre
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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