I CAN MOONWALK!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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