I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
