I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
