ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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