Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
