i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
they need to just BURY HIM!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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