shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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