I cannot find my penis.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize