Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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