i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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