Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it was like eating out sand paper
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize