so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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