I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
