i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize