i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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