let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
