i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
