oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
