You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
