Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
