I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize