what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Someone signed my nipple.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
