girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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