Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
