He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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