trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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