apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
