Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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