i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
