so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
