He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize