How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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