Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
