i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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