Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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