Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
