like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
