yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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