Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
