Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
