Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We left the knife in your bed.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
