2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
