Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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