You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
