My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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