You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
