Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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