no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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