I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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